I'm sorry for the wounds I caused, but not for the ones you pour salt on.

I fear I'm about to watch us burn away.

It's starting to feel like a chase that I can't keep up with... A fate I can't outrun... And it seems to be waiting around the next corner, and the way seems too dark to see the break in the path. The moment itself would occur in a mere instant, the wait, and anticipation of it, stretches out into an infinity, beyond what words can describe.

And around that bend your memory of me will be tainted by a bitter end...

I wish things were simple. Not so simple in which that they weren't complicated. But rather simple enough in that if they had been given the right degree of time, consideration and problem solving, they could be properly sorted out.



The stars shone down on me tonight. They bled my tears in their twilight. I live and die below their sight, while I dream of days beyond their light.

-Dave

So I'm about to go to sleep now. Started work around 11am, finished sometime after 5am, home now, getting ready to take a nap to be there for 10:30 am.

After hours w/ Big Cat, Bubbles, and Rico...   they call me Sunshine.

We roll out in style, lose a button and then feed the cats.

The stars spin 14 degrees on the way home.




So much to say, nothing to type.

This is the Funniest non-funny thing i've ever read!

I stumbed across it while trying to explain something to a friend i was talking to...

I knew it was a myth, i didn't know how/where it started tho. ENJOY

http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Disney/Lemmings.html

Okay.... first off, we're skipping over a few VERY key entries yet to be written... I hope to post these later. But on to current events:

[It's late, excuse the mess.]

Went out with a couple boys from work tonight. Ended up having a great meal, and then went for a few drinks where a couple of Memo's friends showed up. They both were pretty much smashed and almost smashed their jeep into a parked car apon showing up. This part of the night basically consisted of one talking about how he's the 'man' of his relationship and how he smacks his bitch around if food isn't ready when he gets home. This was a bit awkward to deal with cuz I wanted to tell him off, but the other side of me was calling bullshit and i know he's just all talk. He did have some funny things to say and ended up somehow calling a group of girls to our table that could OBVIOUSLY hear the shit he'd been spewing all night, since he was basically yelling. This says one of two things, girls can see through bullshit and yet are somehow still attracted, or 2, they can't and what the fuck are they thinking. Wondering why you pick up assholes? you walk right up to them and pull up a chair... ANYWAY.... they left pretty quick thankfully, the conversation stayed on gilrs for a bit tho. One of my coworker's view was Aim for a wife-type girl, and then go fuck around with hot chicks behind their back. What they don't know can't hurt them type stuff. Again... I felt a bit out of place, but I wasn't about to say anything, and as soon as we got off the subject, it subsided. I'm not saying i'm a saint or anyhting, but I'd like to have a bit of faith left for relationships. (for some reason I feel like laughing at myself for that one. Wee for being optimistic!)

[side note: my workplace is FUCT]

I had myself read by Memo, (we did a group thing) I got the run down of how I come off as a person. I like to know how other ppl see me. I'm more interested in the bad so I can better myself, but I got a mix of both. I can't remember the way he said it, but he's what I took from it. I'm a friendly person, mellow, but I keep everyone at a distance unless they go the extra mile to be outgoing or very friendly with me. (which seems very true, and said in a way that i've never before really noticed. The distancing thing got me thinking a bit) The other was that I lock up when someone upsets or hurts me, which I don't REALLY have any issues with at the moment. It's true as anything I know, and I DO keep things in a bit sometimes, but I stand up for stuff when I need to... at least enough to be okay with it. There was a bit more, and it was all worth hearing cuz you can't get where you want to go unless you know where you are to begin with. Cheers to self improvement.

Somehow over the night we ended up at a strip club. Wasn't my choice but on the other hand I didnt' really object. It was one of the guy's first time being, so it was an event for the group. The girls were beautiful, but I didn't get the least bit turned on. Had a few more drinks... I tried to buy them both dances, but ended up missing both girls they were eyeing. They'd bought me a few drinks by then and I figured I'd be the least I could do. I was also going under the mentality that if I bought them a dance, it would get me out of them buying one for me... which I didnt' want. I didnt' want to go, I'd feel fuct up like there was something missing. I guess I want something more (meaning maybe)... I wanted them to know it too, but i wasn't gonna kill the 'mood' ('mood' in a strip club, lol wtf.) It was a go with the flow type night anyway.

Money is bullshit btw. < i'll get to this later i'm sure

I gave 4 bucks to a homeless man writing poetry on a walkway in the market... He tagged all his work 'crazy dave'. I spent a few minutes reading over his stuff. He said it was for sale, (he had stuff written on cardboard) but some of it was decent and I decided to leave it for other ppl to read. It made me feel something, but I'm not really quite sure what. I wanted better for him altho loose change won't do much difference. Actually...I wanted better for everyone.

I walked home from the 97 route, I had a bit of time to think about things. ^ that's most of it, the rest i'll keep rest inside for now.

very big differences

So I just finished watching a movie my friend picked up titled Human Trafficking. All I will say is this, If you're depressed about the world you live in, and for whatever reason feel you want another reason to justrify your feelign shitty, watch this film. If you are perfectly happy living restricted to the miseries within your own life, leave this title on the shelf.

They don't come to my window anymore. The food was too costly, and they never looked back. I miss their songs, and they weren't even sung for me. All that's left is their shit stains on the ledge, and It will take many rainy days for those to wash away.
I don't wait by the window anymore... I simply sit, watching an empty sky.

This can't be healthy.

I'm not sure what it is about this song. But as a child I cried every time I heard it. More than the movie that it's from made me cry. I'm not sure what childhood sadness memory it triggers/attaches to. But it still makes me cry. I haven't heard it in so long. ...weird.

I was bored and in a 'mood' today, so my productivity at work consisted of this...

(I havent' gotten fired yet but I'm working on it.)








I kinda wish I could draw. I like how these turned out, but I can't really draw when I want to, it just happens, and I can only draw very select things.
I might do it more and try some new styles or something. I've felt a bit creatively frustrated lately. Shit is hitting the fan tho on all fronts so we'll see what other shit that inspires.

I want to see all of these...

America: Freedom To Fascism

The Wicker Man

Who Killed The Electric Car?

The War Tapes

The Last Kiss

Peaceful Warrior

A Scanner Darkly

UPDATE:

Ad Festival 2005

The Road To Guantánamo

Wow, so Canada day battle wounds. Mostly from frisbee, bwahahahaha, the crowds. Anyway, ya so I took one right in the face. Sliced around some person standing in front of me and I went to block it, but i just helped it smash me in the face. I might get a full ring tomorrow round the eye. I am Jack's fuct up eye. So yeah, I was co - WOW HOLY FUCK! LIGHTNING JUST HIT RIGHT OUTSIDE, POWER ON EVERY BLOCK BESIDE ME IS OUT, AND THE SOUND THE THUNDER MADE PEOPLE SCREAM. I had my blinds half closd and It was so bright I could see the bolt through the blinds crack. yah, i'm gonna go watch this storm now in the pitch black . The rest of my story was I REALLY fucked my knee up, I can't walk at the moment. I need to peg leg around. I'll save the details for later. Go GIMPED DAVE! Shoosh!

I'm not sure what's more annoying, being sick for the past 2 days or this F***ing 613 shit. It's a throat thing yet again. If it evolves into the sickness of my life that was last time, I will have my throat amputated.  Shup ut! It'll work! Thankfully work has been going smoothyl for the past small bit. I FEEL like i'm feeling better, we'll see in the afternoon, up till 5am, work at 12. When you nap half a day this is the result.

So today was ri-fucking-diculous. I can't even begin to comprehend, understand, or explain what / how / what / how / what happened today.

I'm not sure how many plantes / comets lined up in the exact right configuration for this combination of events to occur.

Wow.

And that's enough vague-ness for  the night. I'm gonna go try to sleep. Wish me luck

So I allowed myself to be dragged out tonight. I didn't think I would have a good time, but I ended up being mistaken. It was a good time with friends. Haven't been out in a couple a weeks aside from the boat cruise that kinda sucked... I was told tonight that I should take training to be a model by a sober person. I don't *THINK* i was being hit on, but either way, BS or not, it's a confidence booster. (which is always nice, especially when ur feelign a bit low) I ended up spending alot more than I wanted to tonight, but I had a good time, and I think I added to other ppl's experience there, which is worth any amount of spending money since I'm not going to use it on anything better at the moment, might as well make ppl happy. Including myself, cuz you kniow what? I deserve it. And so do my friends.

TY to all those who read this and take the time to show that you care. You are appriciated much more than I can express in words on here.

Cheers..

I knew it was gonna happen, I just didn't see it start. Watch my empty shell wander around, and occasionally come into focus with something that once resembled me.

I want to fight a war with an ememy I can see, with wounds I can touch, with blood I can taste. I will meet you there, on the scared battleground... and we will fight with our instincts, we will bleed from our hearts, and we will cry from our souls. We will die alone... Together.